Trump begs Denmark for eggs after months of threats and taunts

Donald Trump is shameless. 

He was barely minted as the new president when for some unfathomable reason decided to threaten Denmark over Greenland, demanding the Nordic country sell the semi-desolate island for … reasons. (Likely because it inaccurately looks really big on a map.)

It was part of a pattern that continues to this day—threatening Canada’s annexation and calling its prime minister “governor,” threatening to retake the Panama Canal, threatening military action against Mexico, and imposing tariffs on allies like Taiwan, Japan, and the European Union. 

Now Trump suddenly finds himself in a bind, having promised lower prices on Day 1, yet seeing grocery prices rise even before many of his tariffs have kicked in. And center stage in the grocery drama are eggs, which have skyrocketed in price … if you can even find them. 

And it turns out, telling people to “shut up about egg prices” isn’t the best politics. 

So he has asked Denmark and other countries for help. 

You can hear them laughing from across the Atlantic. 

Yle, Finland’s national public broadcasting company, reported that Finland (diplomatically) refused a similar request. Other European countries are off the table because they don’t wash their eggs (which is why in places like Germany and France, eggs aren’t refrigerated in grocery stores). But even if they could export to the U.S., maybe they’d give the middle finger as well. 

The Netherlands, one of the few that can, had their license revoked in January. The Trump administration is trying to reverse the licensing issue, but even then, eggs are fragile. Flying them across the Atlantic is not a logistically simple matter. 

You know who might have eggs to help out? Canada. Oops. 

But Trump’s insufferably bullying behavior shouldn’t lead to an automatic “no” from potential egg exporters. Perhaps they could take a page from Trump’s ritual humiliation of Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy and Irish Prime Minister Micheál Martin, and force Trump to show up, demand he apologize, interrupt his every word with “YOU DON’T HAVE THE CARDS!” and heap insult upon insult. 

Maybe then, and only then, should these countries release eggs into the U.S. 

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